1000 Words to Say 'I Love You' {MaplexKendall}

"Dear Kendall,

There are some things that I could tell you.  Many of these things are such that I have done wrong, as well as minority of them, while some may be wrong, could not be helped.  I am selfish, and there is nothing that can be done about that.  And well, I could have been an overall better person instead of being so clingy to you, but it was so difficult for me to do that because of how much I care about you, brother.  

The times that we spent in our younger years when you took care of me in place of father and mother because we knew that they did not care.  I would chase you around the courtyard having no care in the world while giggling until I finally jumped into you and buried my face in your chest.  Up until I got older, you helped me with my fear of cats.  You knew how much I was afraid of them and you protected and saved me.

Holding me close when I was in pain, you would tell me that everything was going to be okay.  I did not think much of it when I was younger, but I knew that you were there for me.  You were there for me when I knew that father and mother weren't there.  I wanted to be by your side forever – never leaving you and staying with you as your little sister, thinking that everything would work out just fine.  You were protective of me and I knew it too, not letting me go out on dates or do really anything because of it.  You didn't want me to lose my first kiss to anyone because you didn't want me to leave and I know, no matter how many girls that you got with that seemed like no big deal.

There are things that you don't get too though, Kendall, because it's hard for me to really tell you what I'm thinking.  I don't want you to yell at me or get angry with me, and when you took that cat in because you thought it would keep me away from you, you don't know how hurt I felt.  I wasn't able to go into your house and see you or visit you or do anything like that.  Maybe you don't see it, but you can be really dense sometimes.

I should be talking about how I've done bad things, but there are things that you have done too that you cannot realize.  When you push me out of your house, it hurts me even though I know that I should not act as such.  It's all to get your attention and that's something that you do not understand either – something that sometimes I can't even understand my actions, like when I ended up kissing you without thinking.  I knew that I should not have done that, but it just felt… right.  I would hug you and cling to you because of how much I cared for you and didn't want to see you with another girl.  You never realized that though.

You would always push me away and stare at the other girls.  I remember when you moved houses and it took me forever to figure out where you went, and when I finally found you, your new neighbor was what you were staring at and you did not even seem to care that I was back into your life.  I could not stand being a third wheel, and even when I accepted your relationship with Tayla, you called it off and you just went back to looking at other girls and getting with them.

I remember when you threatened to call father.  You told me that you would send him a letter telling him to keep me under his eye so that I would not bother you.  I would die, Kendall, you never understand.  My care for you is too deep in a well that I cannot even fathom how I would ever be able to escape it, even under the eye of father.  

After that though… you yourself told me that I was yours…

Whenever I see that look in your eyes it just lights me up and makes me smile.  When you call me "Leaf" and hold me close.  There is nothing in the world that I would want more than to be held once again.  I know now that you have a wife.  You were arranged to be with her, no matter how much you or I may protest about it.  You have told me that I am still yours, even though you have Alouette now.  I hope that you mean what you say, but for now, I am not sure if I can believe you just yet.

After everything, there are many things that I have come to learn.  You knew me as a girl who was all smiles – a very random, chatty person who was always frazzled and clinging to the man that she cared deeply about.  She would always try to make him jealous and hated when he would pay attention to other girls – waving her hand in his face and rubbing against him to make it seem like she was in a relationship when really the boy she cared for was nothing more than her half-brother.

I know that this letter is probably really repetitive and I really would not blame you if you didn't bother reading a majority of this.  I care about you so much, Kendall, and it is always hard for me to see you married.  I'm gone now though, and I don't want you to have to worry about me.  Your life should be full of happiness with your wife and not have me to bring you down.  I feel as if I have grown more mature, so I will leave you with seven words to make a thousand.

I love you,

Your Little Maple Leaf"

There was a letter – one that I never remembered until opening the stained paper.  It was something that I meant to send, but it never got out.  It would probably only end in regret if I did send it.  I hope he understands that I do love him and I want the best.  I'm done being childish.  I'm done being dependent.  As much as I need him, I can't hold him back.